Cookie

Ah ,the naughty one . There has been no peace in this house since she has arrived . But I like it this way .

Either , one of us is running after her to wrest socks out of the hellish jaws , or we are busy trying to keep her away from gnawing something/someone else.

A vampirish smile with sweet looking eyes which are waiting for right time and right body part to pounce at. Package also features a deep growling sound with a dolby woofer enabled bass booster.

Loves plastic and suspicious looking items like fur toys, sprite bottles and electrical wires.
WTF, BOFH excuse #97 may be true after all !!! (Small animal kamikaze attack on computer power supplies)

In other news

Night shift ends in 3 days, will be back to regular day schedule for at least a year.

Was my birthday on 28th July , one more candle added.
My sister sent one of the best birthday wishes I have read so far

"If I could gift you something in my life,
I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes.
Only then you would realize how special you are to us :)"

Lamentations 3:37

"Who is he that saith and it cometh to pass when the Lord commandeth it is not"
-- Lamentations 3:37


Ah there it comes.

Here comes the bipolar swing again, a big one , goes to the sad pole this time.
This must be how bordering the edge of lunacy feels like.

A small family feud does the tip-over this time.
Retreating into my shell of misery , I start the self-sustaining manic-depressive cycle.
Looking at the world through narrow jaundiced eyes, fail to find any joy anywhere.

Of course , I do have family and friends trying to coax me out of it.
But asking a depressed person to come out of depression is like asking a diabetic to start producing insulin.

I do not have any reason to be really depressed, I am afflicted by the commonest of problems.

Hey , who doesn't have trouble brewing in their work-life ?
And does everyone get a US visa on first try ?
And who doesn't have family fights once in a while ?
And who doesn't have to juggle with finances ?

The issue , I think , is the fact that all of the above happened right around the same time.

I now take solace in the hope that it will swing to the other side soon and I will be back to my normal happy self again .

Can I get some sleep, please ?

F**king pissed at this damned night shift. Got to do it for at least 2 months every year . Sucks big time , coz I can't sleep during daytime . Heat and a lot of noise.

In this pathetic shit of a city , everyone likes to blare horns and want to go top speed in side alleys .
It's supposed to be a side alley in a residential area , you a***les ! Don't they know people like peace , more than the sound of fart growling engines ?!!
Has anyone here heard of a concept called noise pollution ? Forget the decibel meter , measure this damned noise on the Richter scale.

Especially auto drivers . Don't know what bloody vintage those rickshaws come from , their engines grumble like those road drilling machines.
Must be pouring 50% kerosene or something. Makes me have weird dreams about sucking their brain jelly out and squashing it. Dreams about disemboweling them all and becoming a martyr .

Plus , its hot as hell in the afternoons.
So that's the time the power goes off. Load shedding, i guess. Nice.
The gay sadists in the power corp must be having fun imagining sweat dripping bodies , when they flip the switch.

Top that up with loads of work in the office. I am really having a hell of a bad time these days.
Cherry on the topping ? Misery knows no company.

Ahh, power's back on . Sweat's drying . Will post this now and try get some sleep again .
4th installment today.

Goodbye Cruel World

Time to stick to family , they will always be there for me.
To all the others ..leave me alone.


Goodbye, all you people,
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind.
Goodbye.

Rescued by blood

Somebody said it right "You are your own worst enemy" .
Last couple of weeks have been slightly crazy , with my bipolar disorder swinging my moods from pole to pole. For no apparent reason that I can think of, the demons in my head were gnawing away all that was happy and good. Making me feel like my grey matter was turning into wriggling maggots.

Here comes little sister to the rescue , a cold-blooded reptile when it comes to feelings , moods and all that sentimental bullshit. Knew I could trust my own blood , we were always there for each other.
She takes in all the information that I give her , then turns all my feelings into chopped liver.
Her input is all your feelings at work or play .
Her output is a cold-logic processed data flowchart that can be literally pasted onto a Visio diagram.

Some people are real shredders when it comes to all the fluffy stuff and you cannot help but admire them .

Moral of the story ? I have to place this thought in my head, and make sure it stays there ,
"Suck your own thumb next time , you wimp !! Don't you f**king lose control over your go*damn moods again , you as**ole !!"

cat /etc/motd

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with."
-- Wayne Dyer

Getting Things done

Getting Things done (GTD) is a project management
method proposed in the book by David Allen

It follows the principle of recording all the data (or thoughts) that we receive , into a database (either in software or in meatspace) , so that the mind is free from the work of storing this volatile data and can spend more effort in processing information.

Here is what David Allen says about this action management method :
“Get everything out of your head. Make decisions about actions required on stuff when it shows up — not when it blows up. Organize reminders of your projects and the next actions on them in appropriate categories. Keep your system current, complete, and reviewed sufficiently to trust your intuitive choices about what you're doing (and not doing) at any time.”

Check this wiki link for more information on this.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getting_Things_Done


As suggested in the seminar, I have tried using quite a few software based tools , the one that I liked the best is a free java based software called "Thinking Rock" , which strictly adheres to the GTD principle.
As they say , the best things in life and software are free.

Busy week

It has one hell of a busy week . Work is zapping up all my energy .
I really seem to have no time to sit and think ,or write.
The good part is , there seems to be no lack of company these days.

Rant with my Aunt

Me: Greetings my fair Agony aunt !!!!

Agony_Aunt: :D

Me: i gotta a chance to blow me trumpet ..i gave some friends my blog link
it makes me so happy , if people read what i write , it makes me feel like a real writer of sorts

Agony_Aunt: :D any updates on it

Me: not yet ..there is actually a lot of stuff i really want to write , but i cant ..coz it will be politically incorrect
about friends n stuff
some people wont like it being posted out on the web for the whole world to see it

Agony_Aunt: u don't have to name them
and what about freedom of expression

Me: i know.. but i haven't taken some Hippocratic oath for journalism yet
so i don't really have to report things as they are , or as they appear to me
there is one thing that scares the shit out of me and I want to write about.

Agony_Aunt: u can write what u feel though and what is it?

Me: last weekend SX, AX n me ..were talking about arranged marriage
very touchy topic ... its a bloody gamble i say
since all 3 of us don't have too much time , pressure is already setting from our folks
we were planning on watching a movie together ..that got canceled and we sat and talked for a few hours on this !!

Agony_Aunt: he he So what was the conclusion

Me: viva la resistance !! we fight till the end !!

Agony_Aunt: he he

Me: seriously dudette ,,you don't know how lucky you are !
imagine an arranged marriage setting
in our "liberal" families , you get to go around for a few weeks before deciding
in a few weeks , how the f**k are you supposed to know how the person is ? I mean anyone can "fake" it ! ..
i am a guy who excels at procrastination , but I can act like a super-active dude for a week without sweat
same goes on the other side ..its so damn easy to fake stuff when you want to
i don't mean to say , i'll be faking it ... but the other side might and probably will
its natural to appear more pleasing and charming , when you interact with people of opposite sex with the intent of understanding them ..

Agony_Aunt: :D
inhibitions is what i see
u got to go with open mind

Me: doesn't come that easy to someone who is emotionally inept

Agony_Aunt: i know what u r talking bout
i also question peoples intention a lot before i can trust them
:(
but its not a very good thing

Me: exactly , too much of the logical reasoning kills all emotions and render us emotionally inept ..Sometimes I feel that I should be a carefree emotional fool

Agony_Aunt: :)

Me: strangely sometimes you have a situation where this person is getting into your inner circle ..but you wont let them ,
because your logical questioning attitude doesn't let you
man ..am i ranting again ?
im ranting ..shit

There goes another one ...

Another weekend gone..

Saw "Spiderwick Chronicles" and loved it , I am gonna download this and keep it in the movies folder. This is kind of a must-watch for any fantasy movie buff.

Nothing else to write about the weekend , but it was far better than the dreary ones ...

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way"

One Missed Call

Whoosh , big relief ! I took care of the damn screw up that I did yesterday.

Today , three of us watched a movie "One Missed Call".
It's been a while since I have watched a horror flick , and this one had quite a few scary scenes.

Rest of the day was uneventful and mostly spent chatting about incidents during this week.

Here is the best part of the day , I got a copy of FarCry ! Yaay!
One of the best FPS RPG's I have ever played !

Feedback

Got feedback from a Pune friend that my blog sounds like Anne Frank's diary in WW-II !

Have noted another rule.
4> There should be intermittent posts about "happy" experiences .

Momentary lapse of reason

Man , I screwed up big time ! What was I thinking ??
An inch close to losing the only close friend that I have in this place .

How the hell did I manage to do that ? Well I was carried away with this bloggin thing n wrote my heart out ... excerpts from a previous post(Solitude) : "slowly getting bored of each other " and "run out of topics to talk about".
And like the idiot I am , I show her my newfound love for writing !

What happened after that ? Elementary my dear Watson , she fell silent .
I vaguely try to explain , that I meant the line in future tense and not something that is happening now . Does that work ? ..No !

Well ? Dunno .. I'll apologize again tomorrow.

Have noted the following rules for future posts:

1> Make sure they are politically correct.
2> Do not mention about close friends / siblings /parents or anyone else who has the capability of making you feel miserable.
3> Write honestly , but skip over "harmful" details.

Solitude

This has been one hell of a lonely place. Before moving here , I had never suffered such boredom attacks , weird.

I do have a sizeable number of old friends who settled here earlier. But , weekends are the only time we can meet , and even that is difficult because of their commitments.
Sometimes when all the planets are aligned , we go out and have some fun.

Weekday evenings are horrible , I come back home and boredom creeps in right away.
I try watching some telly , but that doesn't help, I try my ps2 , but that bores me too.
Fortunately(?) , I have a friend in the same predicament and we give each other company almost daily. Gradually , we will run out of things to do and topics to talk about and get bored of each other.

Things are always fun , when you have a group of 3 or more friends. But others won't be able to make it on weekdays because they either stay far away or work in shifts .

Eventually , I will adjust to this hermit lifestyle and hopefully start enjoying solitude .
Till then , I'll try to manage.